breath

I still remember how i used to be so scared about intern. Am i going to be okay with these kind of environment. Where the real world is here, the game are much harder, where you face peoples that have their own standard. They are not lecturer, they are your bosses. Its almost 2 month, like i said earlier, i love my job. I still am. But still, there are still those rough inside the beauty, thunder when it's raining, pain inside those smiles. How to make it understandable. 'bukan semua benda yang indah, betul-betul indah, bukan semua orang bahagia, betul-betul bahagia, bukan semua benda sempurna, betul-betul sempurna.

A anon once told me ,

 Kadangkala kita rasa kita sudah menjaga hati setiap orang tetapi kita lupa yang kita tidak mampu menjaga hati setiap orang. Biarlah manusia tidak menghargai, asalkan Allah tahu apa yg ada dihati :)

I'm not sure either i'm physically ill, or mentally drained, or maybe my heart and brain doesn't work out the right way. But things are moving so fast, and i think my mind can't catch up with things that's happening around me. Like i wanna grab to something but i seems so lost. Being left out in the dark with a space full of people. 

Mungkin, terasa beban. Beban kehidupan yang tak pasti. Beban seorang remaja, beban seorang pelajar, beban seorang anak perempuan tunggal. Alhamdullilah untuk semua. Tapi kalau ini dugaan dan kehidupan yang Allah berikan, ini cara dia mahukan aku belajar tentang kehidupan. Aku redha. Kepada dia aku mohon kekuatan kerana dia lagi maha mengetahui lagi maha berkuasa, and there's a reason everything happens.

Saat kita tengah sedih, takkan mungkin seorang pun tahu apa yang kita rasakan. Kita cuba nak luahkan tapi akhirnya airmata yang menemani