Are you running away? Am i ready?

3.05 a.m Saturday *just finished watching green lantern

Why is relationships so  hard. Even the fake one? I watched few of my friend that are now in a stable relationship for years. sometime i envy them. How can they stay so happy for so long? I used to have this feeling where i;m so assure of having the right guy in life, but eventually things ended up years ago. My last true relationship end up for like 7 month 7 days. The best relationship i guess. I was too sure about everything. About us. But really we can see now all of that was not even real thou. Back then, i don't believe in letting go. I hold on to him so long. Even i hurt myself tonnes of time. I still hold on. Having the thought of letting go, but it never turn out really what i have in mind. Eventually i will be the one who run coming back to the same person who hurts me. Don't blame a girl for being too in love with a guy. Love can blind someone eyes. All those wrong doing of his is just not even there you know :') 

Been there, and i'm done with it. 

I'm holding myself now, trust me, it's way harder than letting go. with a different person btw. I've move on with another person. Confused. Either i'm doing the right thing or not. either it is the right person or not. I'm not sure with myself. Conclude confused in two term. Confused with two different person and two different situation perhaps?

p/s: Dear you, if you make the decision to go away. please tell me. will ya . It hurt watching you treating me like a complete stranger but the truth is we have feeling for each other. Even it's not even true. Even reality won't be on our side. 

it's just hurt. that's all. But don't worry, i still breath, i'm still alive.