i explain it to you,
how the things suppose to be,
it's not that i don't want you,
or i don't love you,
i am, and i will forever,
but believe me,
the last relationship that i thought was "the last"
just came out just exactly as what i think is a disaster,
i kept repeating making mistake,
I've hurt a lot of feelings,
including you and myself,
i need to learn how to love myself more than i love others,
because all this time,
it's always about everybody,
but this time,
i'm giving myself some space,
myself to think wisely before doing anything wrong and worst for my future,
i have a long journey of life to handle,
insyaALLAH, i just pray for thing just to be fine,
it's ok tho to be alone for now,
have lunch alone,
going to class all by myself,
and sometime it felt pathetic when you just see others sharing laugh,
and suddenly you enter to the crowd laughing together,
but you don't know what the freaking hell they are laughing about =.="
i felt sorry for myself,
and sometimes i felt like life is not worth it to live alone.
but then i think it again,
what's the matter being alone?
it's not that bad,
it's not that hard isn't?
you just need to be grateful with whatever you have in life for now,
i use to say, that happiness just lost their track to find you,
i always write about this positive thinking craps =.="
but i guess if you just write it and not apply it in life,
same like you just nagging to yourself.
so here, ACTION SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS,
if you know where your standing,
keep believe in yourself,
that single is much better for now,
don't drag yourself in a false relationship :)
hope for the miracles to happen :')