Because I've been taking care of others feelings. And I've sacrifice my own for few months now. I thought i'm strong enough to resist things, peoples and feelings that can put me down, can make me insecure. After years, i still failed. Or maybe i'm too good on letting these emotional pain eating me inside. And i thought at some point i can become resist to any heartache. Both from the peoples i love and also strangers. Up till now, i sometimes cry all byself and let the sadness eats me alive. And fake laugh, music, lot of sleeping and some of the nights i spend with crying and regreting, then i'll be fine. I don't really know what is wrong with myself. Should i seek any help? But one thing i know, i always have to fix my relationship with the one who created me. I always wanted a guy who can guide me and remind me abt solat, abt being a better muslim. I know this is random, but i really do. Or is it the other way around? Where you help people, and guide them at the same time it will turn back to you. Where you do good deeds to others and you hope people will do the same?
Insecurities sucks big time