I found my happiness in bits of what i do for my life. Friends, books, cats, sunset, laughter, even sleep.
I deeply believe that if you work hard enough, never ever wanna give up, keep praying, you'll get what you want. Not in a bunch or in a huge parcel. Bit by bit. You may not realise this because some people are just love to keep complaining. This is not good enough. That thing are just horrible to live with. I hate being like this. How can i be just like them. Why they can have it and i can't. Am i not going to be good enough. These kind of questions that show some peoples are sometime never going to feel satisfy having something. When people are moving fast forward. I decide to take a step back every time this questions haunts me. I look back and see what things have change me. Regain back my self conscious. How? By crying and praying. By believing in myself that i can do it. Restrain myself not to overreact and over-think. Knowing that what i'll done next is rational enough and gonna makes me happy and no regret. But how can someone control themselves doing such things. Literally you can't live in life full of positivity neither negativity. Both gonna haunts you well. So basically, what i did is, whatever decisions that i make, even it hurts. I'll say to myself. No regret. Learn and live with it.
I took every bit things that i did in life and pull out positivity out of it. Being alone give you self therapy. Not too depending on someone is self cleansing. Try talk to yourself. I know it sounds crazy, but i called it self meditations. And nope, i didn't get any of these in books. Because doing this helps me to be what i am today. I'm learning to grow up. Among us, we ourselves is the only person who understand what we've been through in life. Those suffering, those small problems, pinch of uncomfortable feelings you think that you need to share it. Try to digest it yourself. People won't understand it as well as you feeling it at that moment, Yes, it'll definitely bring you a bit comfort to share, but don't be to dependable on people. You grew older, less friends, less people you can trust. out of 10, maybe 2 who really cares. I soon believe that i stop crying in bed. I cry a lot to God. Alhamdullilah :')