Sunday, November 24, 2013

Older and stronger

Basically last 20th November was my birthday. I turned 22 officially on that day. I have the best day of my life. Nahhh, nothing happen actually. It's a normal day. Went to work. Go audit at the client's place. Go lunch and continue working till 6. Go have dinner with my family and straight to bed. Seriously. But what's the best part of the day is, i received tonnes of birthday wishes from best friends, families, strangers, people from my past. Mum bought me this adorable birthday cakes. Received birthday cash from my aunt and a face powder from grandma. I knowwwww, grandma are just so adorable. I ask her where i can find one of those face powder that she used to buy for me, because mine are almost finished. she just say Cosway. Was planning to buy one for myself but grandma bought one for me, on my birthday! Do you believe me if i told you i ate half of the cake? Yaaa, i ate half of it.

I wuv you mum! 

I have a birthday dream. Seems like i have to wait other years to happen. Owh i wish to write down my dreams here. So here it goes. 

I want to sleep with just a simple birthday call. Telling me that he/she wish that they known me earlier just to be right by my side the whole 22 years of my life. Call me cliche, but i love birthday surprises. Everyone does. My last birthday surprises was last two years celebrating with all my munckins back in UKM. On my birthday, i want to be surround with the people i love. Just spending the whole day, talking, eating, laughing, eating again, maybe just silence moment outside, away from all the hectic life. Throwback to all the good memories. Good times, bad times. 
Call me cliche again, but i love fresh  flowers. I love books. I love libraries. I love old cafes. I love picnics. I love sitting under the stars. I love surprises. Those stuff that you watch in movies, i love that shit. hahaha. Maybe i watched to much movies eyh? 

Everyone is growing one year older each year. Each year you have to face all those shits and craps. Meet all those fake peoples and hold on to the people you love. Searching for peace in life. Searching for faith and space to give time to yourself to grow tough and stay strong. Seeing all the places that you wish to go but you don't have the opportunity to do that. Going through phases of phases in life just to make someone proud. Just to make the best out of it. Just to accept the life that have been given to you. You out grown everything. 22 years in life. How deep you shared your problems with peoples. How many times you cried on bed, screaming in the car, hold on to tears , hold on to pain, hold on to people that hurt you and don't deserve it anymore, thinking about death can settle everything, thinking about what should you do to make things better, what should you do just to be okay, think that when all of this is going to stop hurting you, think about when it's your turn to be happy, ahhhhh, all of this unanswered questions are just going to be repeating all by itself every year. Soon, it will hit you. At some point, you become heartless. Or in my kind of term, matured. Because life taught you to be strong and not to give up. Don't expect for peoples around you to understand you. To like you. To adore you. To be with you all the time. To hear your sadness every time you have problems. we were born different. We have different kind of mind.
We sometimes shared the same ice cream flavour, but maybe not the toppings. 

So i'm 22. Older and stronger. I'm awesome liddat! 
Thank you Allah for the life that you have give me. For the chance to still breathing and explore your world. Make new friends. Face new challenges in life. And most important things, giving me the chance to be a better ummah. Guide me :')

Went to just one book store in JB town and they said, they are not selling it. Saw some malaysian readers bought her book in kinokuniya in KLCC. why don't you sell it in JB. I know you guys got sell them in Singapore, but i don't know how to find them in Singapore tooo! Jual lah dekat Johor Bahru. Jual lahhhhh! T.T

I never thought i can be so depress just because of a book! 

p/s: Good news, left one more month of intern. Sort of a bad news; i extend my intern for another month and a bit regret about it. Tak pe, demi nak kumpul duit nak travel! 

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