Saturday, October 19, 2013

I used to be broken. Now I am dead and alive.

i wish i can be so inspired and have the time like old days where i can log in to my blog and just write something on it even it's just a crap. I barely have the time to even open my personal laptop. Sometimes, it's not the 'time' is the reason i've been so busy lately. You guys might don't understand what i'm talking about right now. And i didn't expect you guys to actually. So yahh, time is not the only problem that stopping me to have my own normal life back. I know everyone have their own issues and problems. But we actually gonna figure it out soon enough what to do with all of those crap that disturbing us mentally and physically. Honestly said, i'm drained. As an intern, i work as hard as the staff where i work right now. Going back home late, got my shower and straight away to bed. Ate maggi for dinner. Sometimes i fall asleep with an empty stomach. Have to travel for work for a week. Away from home. Talking about home, let's just say i'm a dead zombie right now. I'm heartless and sometimes i feel like shit. Don't have the right sentences to describe it but heartless and shit is good enough. Intern? Still can handle the workloads and pressure. I like it because i can challenge myself on doing something real. Not that crappy study thing where i have to sit for an exam that turn out to be sooooooo different than what we actually study for like 6 month. But i miss studying, I miss my friends, i miss the smell of the library, the old books, the birds chirping in the morning, long walk to the class and to my room, going out alone just to watch some movies. Have i mention i miss my friend? 

yup! i miss them like so damn freaking much! 

 Mereka yang boleh berpewatakan kanak-kanak dan dewasa bersama. Mereka yang membuat benci jadi sayang, sedih jadi gembira, susah jadi senang. Merekalah kawan yang boleh terima buruk baik kita. walau perangai bagaikan setan sekalipun, kawan tetap kawan. Boleh jadi setan bersama katanya. 

Just a random thought. i always like to please people. It's like, it's bothering to know that people around you are not okay with stuff that you did. Keeping it in silence and don't even bother to talk about it when you ask. Why? is it judgmental are so important to you? Like what, everyone make mistakes. The one that they are attention to make one and the one that they even didn't realise doing it. I'm starting to hate the word judgmental. We can't stop people to talk bad about others. We can't force them to like you or whatever. But hey, if they make a mistake, don't turn it into some big of a deal. If it's that big, come and critics, confess, or whatever you judgmental people called it. Because i'm start to feel sick about it. Kalau salah, tegur, untuk kebaikan individu tu jugak. Making those sucky face and attitude are so immature. Bukan mudah terasa or anything, my attitude changes depends on who i am with. It's call respect.You guys should know better.

And last but not least, I NEED SOME THERAPHYYYY! 

i want to shop so bad, travel all around the world, go taste those awesome food, go do all those extreme activities, backpacking.
Like i'm seriously stress and fucked up right now. Going through all of those peoples who post their backpacking adventure on instagram are sooooooo frustrating. They are soooo lucky to have the money and time. I've figure something out for my future travelling plan. Just still not sure about my parents agree with the idea me on travelling all by myself. but i could imagine it will be awesome. Berangan much don't ya think? hahaha. let me beee! Already have some few peoples to angkut together for my immature travelling plan soon. First place to be, KRABI!

So yeah, since that for intern ni dapat elaun yang boleh tahan lah. I've been a crazy biatch shopping like a pure biatch. haha. But still, under control bila dah sedar duit yang ada cukup makan utk akhir bulan. haha. 

p/s: on top of the list item soon to be purchase. 

Alhamdullilah for the rezeki. So basically i have 4 more month before my intern ends. Actually it's 3. End's at December. But i decide to extend for another one month to find extra money for next semester study. 2013 is coming to and end, November is just around the corner. hehehehehehehehehehehehe. 

So, gonna write soon, when i got the inspiration or problems to nag about okay! *mcm ada orang baca*

All i need is that sparks in me again, because i already forget how it feels like :')

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