It's just a crush

Do you have a crush? A person or maybe peoples that you 'like'. You know when you saw that person your heart skips a beat and that's it. Not more than that. Where you see random girls/guys you just instantly fall in love for a second or maybe angau kejap and that's it. If i go out with harith and i told him i like a guy anywhere when i saw one, harith will like 'kau ni semua lelaki kau suka, banyk sangat' Hahaha. Well harith, this is called crush. The word actually describe it's own meaning. 

CRUSH - where eventually, you'll get your heart broken. And if you're lucky enough, he might have a crush on you back. If two person have crush on each other, they might save each other hearts and be in love. 

I think when being single, you're allowed to have crush. hahaha. legally i think. Because it's so wrong if you have crush when you're in a relationship. This is not the type of ' i have crush on justin beiber, or robert pattinson, or maybe aron ajiz' These people doesn't effect my daily life at all. The kind of peoples i'm referring are the people that can change my emotion in many kind of ways. hahaha. nod if you agree.

I have one, or maybe many. hahaha. But it doesn't hurt much you know. Lately, i have his crush on a guy, a serious crush that i think it's kinda fun and at the same time is hurting. The feelings is not real. Because when you're hurt, it's not permanent. when that person makes you happy, it felt like everlasting. I prefer this kind of feelings rather than the real one. Because in real love, the pain hurts and leave scars. It bleeds badly. But somehow, hate to admit, i let myself be in real love so i can feel again. and the pain that i gain, it's like nothing. It felt like getting hurt it's just a feeling. It bleeds then it will dry.

 I don't trust myself. I put my guard down. I'm afraid. I'm terrified to have feelings. Somehow when i'm happy, soon i will end up being alone and feeling sad for myself. Because now, i don't believe in everlasting. I believe in luck. If you're lucky enough to be in love with the right guy. Stay! Don't cheat! Because at the age of 21-25. You're suppose to enjoy your life. To make it more better, with someone else. Your another half to be exact :') 

Where are you prince charming?