Friday, March 23, 2012

I'm Alive and Survive! But wait, there's more -.-"

Like i had planned last semester, this semester will be a total chaos. I'm tumble all over with studies, work, family, social life, and passion. To make it worst, juggle it inside a small bottle. Just imagine when will be the maximum point for it to explode? How badly i feel wanting to be at home, just doing nothing and eat grandma's cooking. Take my mum's car and drive to MC Donald and eat fries with MC Flurry. If i'm bored enough, i went to the supermarket and buy they instant Mac and Cheese and cook it with extra chicken in it.
writing it down here doesn't help me at all being fine. a bit maybe. I miss home. I miss doing nothing. I miss waking up in the morning , walking to the tv room, switch on my favorite channel while eating my awesome cooking for lunch. Simple and full of lazy. And the best of it, IT'S FREE!

Everything here just fall to place. But also full of bullshit plus lazy. Bold the word bullshit. Forgive me with the harsh word. I think i need to be in a therapy. I have emotion issues lately. A lot to think but so little time. People are not behaving the way they suppose to be. And me too. People tend to be themselves and i have no right to be mad for that. Like i said, i need therapy. Not sitting in a room talking to a doll kind of way. I need to take myself out from the chaos of my own. Have a lot of good food. More and more good food. Better idea, IKEA. go do some shopping therapy, eat MC Donald! a lot of them, go night walking maybe alone in putrajaya while eating good food. That kind of stuff that don't need me to think twice of is it worth doing for. One think that i hate to admit actually. I hate being lonely. Maybe that's the reason i'm behaving like a total bullshit. 

A lot of work, so little time, less time for myself and lonely.
Define lonely = *stare at the laptop like 5 min. I just hate what i have done to myself right this moment. 

I did say being busy is awesome. But i also feel so stupid not letting myself loose. I spend my extra time on bed staring at the facebook and twitter, crawling on the floor for food and back right up in bed watching movie. yaaaa, my false exactly -.-"

Enough nagging. It's Friday already. Last week i occupied myself with programme. This week with a dance show, on Monday i;m heading back to JB for one day for a zapin class, next weekends i'm stuck in UKM doing designing stuff for magazine, the come the one week semester holidays. I don't know what to feel. To be sad or happy. He ask me out, i have my Langkawi trip, i miss home so badly that i feel like cursing out loud, and my trainee said that if any of us being chosen to be in the icaf dance team, we need to stay in UKM for practice.  EVERYTHING ON THE SAME WEEK.  my owh my. talk enough!
let it flow by itself. let the future fatin make the decision. 

Here's a dedication i would like to make for my baby girl! :)

Good luck for your final sayang. I know your paper is already half way finish. Sorry for the late wish.
I have faith in you since the first day we be friend. When you were bullying me everyday in class, when we both wearing the same skirt and have the same hair cut in class, where we spend time together every time we meet, and now, your graduation. In few month your going to finish your diploma and continuing your degree. Can;t wait to grow older together with you. Good luck sayang! can;t wait to be there for you graduation day! :*

p/s: heading off now. hope my next post will be less emotional and more awesome.

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