Chances

Cukup 3 minggu 4 hari kau tak ada dalam hidup aku. 

It's a lie if i said, i stop thinking about you. It's a big lie if i said that i don't miss you at all.

Jauh mana pon kau lari, jauh mana pon kau pergi, dalam mana pown kau sembunyi, kau dah jejak kaki kau dalam hidup aku. I don't think it's impossible to erase it. It just not there anymore, but you left me trace, you left me with scars, you let me heartless. Cukup aku rasa nak buat diri aku tak kan pernah sempurna untuk sesiapa. I get involve with someone relationships and i end up taking risk hurting myself. I'm just a fern siting on a tree trunk. *faham tak? I'm not the old me anymore. Wasting my tears for some stupid heartbreaks. Heartbreaks taught me to be much stronger. Smiling is the new tears. 

I want to end this entry about you saying that i miss you. (':

 When i look what i am back then when i was in high school, when i'm with other people, when i was with you. A lot of mistakes happen. I don't think hard enough when doing something. Young people with their silly mistakes. Not saying that i'm old enough now to think maturely. But i'm going to meet Mrs 21. -.-" Shockingly, the matter of getting married was a playful thing when we were 12 or 18. Aku main kawen-kawen dgn masak - masak kot atas pokok masa tuh. Having crush for boys is like the best feelings ever.

true story - masa kecik dulu, pergi sekolah agama. I have this crush on a guy. we used to exchange letter. bila dapat surat 'cinta' dia, bau minyak wangi. mak aihhhhhhh, serious tuap2 mlm nak tido cium bau surat tu. Aku pun ape kurangnya. Kalau boleh, nak je perap surat tu dlm bedak seminggu. 

Sila gelak. But it's true. Orang sekarang panggil cinta monyet. Dulu zaman2 surat menyurat famous. Nowadays kids don't play those game boy that need you to insert a  card of something. Aku dulu berebut nak main game papan tu dgn adik aku. I spend my weekends at home watching barney. Yes, the annoying purple dinosaur that have this short hand. FAVORITE OKAY. Always have always been :) 

And when i was kid, i don't even know that cinema was a place for all age people. Ingat just dewasa je boleh masuk. Sekarang aku siap pickup adik aku dgn gf die balik tgk wayang. Boleh 'hye,hye,sayang,sayang' pulak dalam hp and facebook. Spoil kids. -.-"

See the difference between old times and the present? 

People will eventually grow old. At certain point they will settle down in life. Have this thought about holding on to one partner. 2 years relationship is the new beginning of a lifetime marriage. It will be awesome watching our old school mate who we played kejar-kejar kat padang sekolah, main masak-masak depan rumah dah nak kawen :') 

*tarik nafas panjang. Life is so challenging. But for me, doing the same routine everyday is just a normal challenge in life. I need something fun. Something that can make my adrenalin get high. Like doing sky jumping, go across the world learn about other peoples life, touch snow, meet justin beiber, learn how to play a electric guitar, eat food from all over the world. 

Tak salah an nak berangan-angan :) Dreams help us to achieve success in life. 

left you with a song sang by Ed Sheeren. Wonderful song, great voice :)