I've been hiding myself from people around me, start to think that life is nothing. i mean, there's no choice i can make either i just walk or be dead. # it's a metaphor. being on the line is now not my top of priority in life. i prefer sleep and crazily dance in my room rather than begging my mum to have the broadband. # i miss ukm unlimited wifi. pfft. owh, and i'm working. just fine being at my mum school for another 4 days. then it's over :) dapatlah sikit duit nak beli kasut idaman. fyi, my mum paying, but i'm going to put a bit my money on it. mahal woo -.-"
awesome right? owhh, i went shopping with my mum already. bought one skinny jeans. and i went survey for these babies and trust me, I've seen these once in Alamanda back in Bangi. i wish i found one in JB :)
work and problem kept me busy. i meet new friends , and loss some. my mum set up a new aircond in my room, fighting is like a daily routine in my life, i eat less but i'm getting bigger # i think. mum call me fat, grandma tell me i'm getting bigger, as if the same meaning of fat, my weight was not an issue to me, but size is. but now, both is important. i haven't weght myself in a while and i'm looking forward to do that. and i wish the needle shows at least below 60 -.-" #i have a serious wight and body issues don't i?
i don't want to write so much about this. it's just i don't really have the right word to describe how i feel. i felt insecure about these guys. these guys represent their own story in my life. not one of them is my boyf because i don't have one :) #kinda proud of it. not being a pathetic single girl. survive in this world and not having a serious relationship. life hard you know. haha. talking about serious relationship. to tell the truth, i'm not giving reasons to people that i'm not ready again , etc. i just tired of letting my heart break again and again. so this time i want to make things right. make things better, i always nagging about what i want to become in future and present. what type of girl i want to be. i just want to let thing loose and let time decide what time a girl i am. hopefully is something good and a person that can be proud of :)
one of them is kinda like this.
and here's a note for a guy:
dear abg , ape salah fatin? i just want to know where i did wrong in your life. fatin hilang abang, fatin hilang tempat mengadu :'(
i won't stop fighting. this is my life. if i don't fight, who will?
p/s: going to meet my school mate tomorrow :)
i wish it will be a wonderful hangout. just us and our memories. old and new one.
can't wait to meet them.
not all of them :')