:')

i know where i stand. i just don't think i made i'm suit to be with you guys or anyone. but life are to clueless for me to guess it myself. i'm all alone. i called myself stupid quite a lot of time. making a lot of stupid decision in life. make people that love me hurt and start concerning about others people life. i don't really think deep about things I've done to myself. what it will effect in long term. what is people perception towards me. i can't deny, all individual love attention. either it's just a small or what i can call 'surrounding attention' or public attention where you like people look at you and start asking 'hey! what you've done to your life now'. and now i'm crapping my ass out.faham tak apa nak disampaikan ni. pfft. i don't know, i felt like my life in a state of useless, empty, and full of crap. i commit suicide. *other words for make myself hurt in an imaginary condition. -.-" 

life are to hard for now. i make mistake. be with people that i'm not suppose to be with, hurt the people who love and concern about me. and start to think crap about others, not sure about either people really like being around me or just  pretending to be there. 

i miss my girlfriend back at home. sorry for missing in action. i miss my home even thou i know nobody going to be at home. i miss being surround with true love. because they protect and make us feel warm.

i miss everything that make me smile in life. not fake one. the things that when i remember it now, it makes me cry badly and i felt that i just want to run back to that moment and do it again and again. because i think it's my serenade in life. like nothing is wrong. i know being in a perfect moment is impossible, but in dreams it is possible.

can i sleep now? :')