i need to tell

i don't felt like going back there,

the place "ukm" freaks me =.="

why?

i just not ready yet,

things just happen,

people does change for some circumstances,

feelings and emotion to be exact,

for me,

i'm still clouded with a million of question towards life,

today, i know why lately i'm being TOO emotional,

i have this period pain =.="

gosh, it's killing,

all i can remember today is i slept quite a lot of hours after done some housework,

being right at home doesn't actually fell much better,

but at least i have a bit precious moment i can hold on to,

family are always the best and the most secure surrounding we can ever have,

THE TRUTH,

even i'm not the kind of "daughter" people want to have on (p/s: i'm kinda lazy one)

but at least I've done something at home that reduce my parents time to be busy at home.

I'M 19 AND GOING TO BE 20

my parents aren't like other teenage parents that let their daughter have their own life,

NOT THE FREEDOM TO BE EXACT,

i have a kinda strict and VERY PERFECTION mother,

to her, everything must be perfect (it's the truth)

once you know her, than you can be in my show of being the "daughter",

but still i don't felt like a 19 years old girl should have been,

going out with "bf" ,

CONSIDER I DON'T HAVE ONE,

text-ing and being on phone life 24/7,

NO, IT'S NOT ME.

but i miss those moment,

when things not ok with me,

i can share it,

with someone, 

someone that called bf,

FYI FOR WHOEVER YOU THINK I'M A BF STEALER,

THAT COMES THE IMPORTANT OF BEST FRIENDS,

even that best friend of mine is a guy,

to make it clear dear girl,

i don't exactly steal your bf, but you must really understand the concept of best friend,

and you failed.

i'm not he pathetic girl that you called me anonymously,

BUT YOU ARE.

sometimes friendship are the best thing that ever happen to me,

a stranger immediately can become our best friends,

and unpredictably the person that we love and care the most in a blink of an eye can become a stranger,

surprisingly it's true. ASK YOURSELF,

so don't felt lost if something bad happen to you,

eventually you will find back to road of the journey of your life,

you just need to say to yourself:

•  HAVE A VERY STRONG FAITH
• WHEN YOU CRY, DEEP INSIDE YOU SAY TO YOUR SELF "IT'S OK, THINGS WILL GET BETTER SOON"
• BE VERY VERY VERY STRONG
• HAPPINESS JUST LOST THEIR MAPS, THEY WILL FOUND BACK WHERE IT IS
• DON'T EVER GIVE UP
• DON'T EVER LOSS HOPE
• ALWAYS THINK POSITIVE, BE A POSITIVE PERSON.

hey, i should write a book you know :)

 i do the same, just to kept my self don't fall apart often,

yes, we will fall apart sometimes, 

miss the person is not yours anymore,

you felt lost when your own parents kept screaming at you do this do that,

you need someone to hold on to but they aren't there,

you want to cry so hard,

you felt like nothing is there for you anymore,

DEAR, YOUR TOTALLY WRONG,

with a great and strong willing of want to be a useful person one day,

all you need to do is just stand up,

say to your self,

I CAN DO IT, WHATEVER IT TAKES,

keep praying and never ever loss hope.

people called me a strong girl, and i believe in it :)

and i believe everyone that read this is a very strong person to.

YES YOU.

done nagging for today :) 

3 days till result out =.="

pray for the best. insyaALLAH :)

owh and, 

SELAMAT TAHUN BARU BAGI SEMUA MUSLIMIN MUSLIMAT,

hopefully this new years for us change us to be a better person :)

till then, xoxo