NO, don't worry.
it doesn't effect me at all.
yes, i did hurt. a bit.
i just believe that i need to be strong because that is the only choice i have to be a human and survive in this kind of cruel world.
as long as i can breath and survive,
i'll do whatever it takes to remain like this.
remain being a girl that have her own dream of being happy,
remain to be a girl who really want to fall in love, having a lot of great friends to share some love,
want so badly to have at least a best friend that can share a lot of secret together, went out for an over night to nowhere. share a lot of laugh even a stupid jokes makes me laugh so loud.
i want people that surround me makes everything felt wonderful.
or when the moment the radio is on, the first song that come out is our favorite song and we song crazily together.
how nice this could be if it's my kinda way of living.
i won't ask more to life.
I've been through a lot of things in life.
BREAKUPS? doesn't effect me at all now.
friends? crisis about if i felt it's just a daily routine for me.
when i go out anywhere, with or without my friends, the only thing that i felt so deep hurt is when i saw a girl holding a guy hand. smiling each other. sitting together , eat in the same plate, drink with the same straw, sharing a lot of laughter, just walk follow the beat of their own steps, when into any shop an then few second they are out, after a long day outside, they sit in the car and have a serious conversation for a few hours and deep inside them they don't want to say good bye because the moment one of them left, the feeling of missing is there.
RIGHT? for those in love now?
it sweet right to fall in love. everything is there. you don't even care what life had done to you because you know you have that person FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. i use to have this feelings before.
but i felt it just comes and go. so easily.
i have dreams, people have dreams, the world have their own dreams.
so in whatever ways i can do to fulfill the dreams for other and myself, i'm willing to do whatever it takes to be happy for myself and even hurt myself for others. :)
and i always do that and sometimes it felt wonderful. FOR ME.
and now, currently i'm busy with stabilizing my life so i can walk correctly in one path and i pray that ALLAH will help me along the journey of LIFE. i can't get you, i can't get happiness, i can't get anything, but i can get myself to be whatever i want. and i know ALLAH will always be there for me. i know i'm strong to face all this. i face a lot of hardship of life before. eventually i know in present and future, there will be more to come.
and still a lot of chapter to be made and discover :)
let me be this way forever.
a simple girl that willing to do anything to satisfied others.
and tried hard to be happy each day of her life. :)