Monday, July 30, 2012

And here i go

Sorry for the lack of ideas what to write here. Nothing fun actually happens regarding that i'm stuck in UKM taking short semester. All i do is going to class, staring at my laptop, eat and sleep. To make it sound excited, i did go out to bazar to buy food for break fast. Not that interesting huh? Tu pun terima kasih kat harith sbb sudi bawak keluar. Kalau takde die, ada perut lemau makan cafe je -.-" Like seriously, nothing fun is happening to me right now. Mood raya pun tak de. Because i'll be having my finals a week after Syawal starts. Cuti seminggu and BOOM, 3rd year starts. So F kidding me huh? Baru nak kebaskan bontot kat rumah dah kene balik UKM ke? Don't reminds me what await's me on 1st August. I just wish that there will be no failed subject. So that's it. I'm becoming this person that ignore things that happening around her and have a serious relationship with things that makes her life a better place to be. 

Bukan nak cakap lah, but guys are all the same. The jerk kind of type. I thought all my girlfriends are settling down you know. Ready for a serious relationship and just wait the time to be together ever after and all. The fact of a guy is a jerk lately has been proven. kenapelah kau buat perempuan ni mcm tisu. Don't take it as a wrong way, i'm not writing this for me. Nope, i'm single and have no crisis with guy *i think. It's for all my girlfriends out there who's been hurt by jerks. Not guys, but jerks that don't know how to appreciate girls. I'm not telling the world that guys should 'patuh' with us girls. No. Girls are fragile. How can i make it easier for you guys to understand huh? Perempuan ni gedik, mengada, nak dimanjakan, nak diberi perhatian, nak dilayan, kalau merajuk nak dipujuk, kalau die lari nak dikejar. i know some guys don't get all of this. But it's what makes girl different than you guys. Maybe some girls *like me , can tolerate about those keadaan diatas. But from all the relationship i have been before, and observing all the heartaches that i can see and learn, the two thing that girls really want in a relationship are

love & trust

No relationship will be build if there're no love. Then how you can be with another person if there're no feelings? Maybe zombies can. But us human being have this need to be in love. This heart of us is just half alive. We need another half to complete it. The hard part on finding the other half is the problem that everyone need to face. To find the perfect half that can complete a person life, to guide a person into a halal relationship. call me lame, but i'm 21 y/o , single, and just by seeing other people relationship make me feel suck. It's some sort of happiness to watch all my girlfriends are happy in a relationship, lovey dovey and all. And you have this feelings that you'll be in their wedding one day. Then suddenly you receive a call hearing your gf crying. *glass shattered.  Natasha Bedingfield used to say in her song called 'soulmate' 

Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Dear jerks, how can you hurt my friends feeling? How come you can love a girl for years, promise her a good future together, making her the most special girl on earth and the next day you just hurt her? saying that you can't feel your freedom anymore? you're tired from all the drama? you can't take care of her anymore? why is the hell you need another girl in your life? being with one girl is not enough i ask? If you don't want to take a risk in hurting girls feelings, if you're not ready, DON'T BE IN A RELATIONSHIP. 

I've been hurt. So hurt that i can't actually move on. not as if i'm stuck crying over the same guy everyday. NO. Is just his faces, our memories just haunt me when i'm sitting alone. it's like i'm tied to the past but walking happily through present towards the unpredictable future of mine. I'm happy. being alone. I make myself feel better everyday. I eat a lot, and the person that judge me are my friends and family. And i don't mind they calling me fat. *true story. Like all teenage that have problems, i have my own. Telling that i'm the eldest in my family make it tougher to live. Call me creepy, but stalking other peoples life is what i love to do. Watching they live their life. With all the goodies that they can have just by asking their parents, study overseas, have a wonderful love life. Is just every person dream. Deep down i know that truth that i will never experience any of those things. But maybe if i work hard in present, be tough with what's happening around me, maybe i'll have it one day. one day :') Nothing else matter than taking care of myself, my family, and be there when my best friend needed me the most. That's all. 
owh, and display dslr dah retak sikit. -shit-

sorry for the long nag, this is what happen if you cage a 21 y/o teenagers in university taking short semester for 2 month but some of her friends are happily stuck being at home no need to worries about exam or assignments. pfft


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