i'm listening a cover from this couple. They sang the song need you now. When we broke up few years back, this song makes me felt worst everyday of my life. When i hear this song, your face is in my mind, shy to admit, i cry. nahhh, i cry a lot. especially when it comes to relationship, friends, family. LIFE . I'm suck when it comes to hide my feelings. I guess my closes friend feel tired when i tried to tell them about my problems. InsyaALLAH, i'll try to change about it. I realize i make a huge mistake in my life. I just don't mind letting those pain haunt me. It's my attitude. and maybe for certain people, they will have this mind set saying it's not a good habit my dear. am i right? It's just me. I want to get rid of this attitude. i want to change, to be a different people. kadang-kadang bual kosong je aku ni. Pray for the best okay :')
It had been thousand time i said about giving up. Ntah lah. Hati aku ni degil agaknya. tak reti nak rasa sakit. Sakit yang ada, ditambah lagi. Tapi tak pernah nak putus asa. Rasa mcm nak amik hati ni campak kat dalam hutan. -.-" *i'm so freaking heartless right now. He explain, again and again. But the explanation like nothing for me. Masuk inbox lepas tu kene delete. tak nak simpan sebab buat sakit hati. tapi lama-lama benda tu dah melekat kat kepala. nak tak nak kene terima. Sakit mcmana pown kene telan. It just stick inside my head. Every single sentence that you said, it's like stuck completely, plus permanently stick using staple gun inside my brain *imagine that. Every time things remind me of you, the second thought will be what you said to me about you heart and feeling towards me. Suck isn't it. It sound like i'm so pathetic. I know i am. But everyone does. in their own ways and story of life.
kadang-kadang aku nak cakap. ' Hati, cukuplah, tak sakit ke? luka tu tak kering lagi, tak kan nak biarkan dia berdarah' Hati pun menjawab ' Biarlah , selagi kuat, selagi mampu tahan, selagi perasaan tu tak mati, aku tahan'.
stuff that haunts me for now :
- Exam lahhhh. penat bebel tahu kat facebook, kat twitter pasal exam mid term. Baru mid term, belum final -.-"
- Assignment lahhhh. Dah penat bebel jugak. Even it's not that hard, but to start doing it it's hard. It's not hard to be exact, malas namanya. pfft. Malas ni dah berinci2
- Tiap2 malam mesti tido dgn kertas atas katil lepas ni. True story.
- Macam nak culik je kereta kat umah bawak balik kl. Mum's plan to actually buy me a car is just like a dream i guess. Kereta kat jb ni penat dah rasa aku bawak ke hulu kehilir.
- Money crisis. Asyik mintak parents duit je everytime nak guna. Padahal kat ATM ader je duit. Hopefully duit boleh turun dari langi. *haha, funny joke i guess. do you laugh? I DO NOT.
- Tak sabar nak ada stable life balik. enough said.
- Badan rasa dah makin mengembang. And weight issue is not a big problem for me anymore. Lantak lah badan nak mengembang mcm belon sekali pown. Tak ada masa nak fikir pasal diet dah. Lapas je makan. -.-" ohmayyy
- me birthday. okaybye