i hold myself tight to myself

owhh, so you have this mission of yours. that include girls. aku ada satu soalan je untuk kau kalau kau mampu jawablah. 

kau tau tak ape perasaan aku sekarang?

life

i really need to explain what I've been feeling. but i know, not all will understand. susah nak faham perasaan orang. ye kau cakap kau faham, tapi sebenarnya nak really fully understand tu sangat mustahil. i shared my problems with the people who really cares about me, but do i really felt much better. NO. sadly said, i felt regret for telling my problems to you. i mean the wrong people. you guys must think i'm a pathetic now. 

i take people advise by sharing my problems to my friends. but i guess there's not that much help. and not all of my problem that i want to share you know. kalau terlepas tu terlepas lah. mcm tu je. urmm.

now it's becoming personal

kenapa aku selalu mengalah? sebab aku rasa orang lain berhak gembira lebih dari aku.

who's the hell in the world don't want to be in love, don't want to get involve with love? NO ONE. 

why people being childish in this. take note, you don't treat me how it suppose to be. and now, i'm in the stage of want to be in love with you and not. i have doubt now. i don't feel the excitement anymore being around with you. like i said earlier, you're just filling the emptiness in my heart. you play tricks with me. call me lovey dovey but the truth is you call everyone those sweet name. and yes, i'm the stupid one to fall for you over and over again. and why i'm blaming myself? i'm not suppose to do that. 

i wish one day i reach the limit and hate you for the rest of my life. i wish

is it my false or yours?

maybe people are less interest to read my blog. all the time i post a blog, i'll be nagging about my life. and it sucks. i know. i wish life were easier. a friend told me that she write blog for actually felt better about herself. give motivation towards herself. i actually want to be like her. not 'like her' but her blog is so motivating. I've post her link once in my blog before. every of her word is really inspiring. how she manage to felt good about herself after facing those hard time. she's just good in handling problem. even tough she's having a hard life just like all of us, she still put her words in her blog in her own way and still people can mirrored her as a strong person. 

sorry reader for being so bored. any suggestion so that my blog can actually become more interesting? i'm not a fashionista, not even closer a YouTube artist, not even a mm to becoming the most popular girl in the class. but i want to change myself and actually be something good for everyone. and for myself of course. :)

 p/s: i'm holding myself tight. by myself.